Time…. none!

H is seriously trying to outwit me. Even wearing a medallion that Tom Jones would be proud of , he is still able to creep around unwittingly and unfortunately also without the jingle jangle factor we were hoping for . He was last seen on a towel by the door in what looked like a deep and dreamful state and was then transported by what I can only imagine was via telepathy to the bathroom upstairs (by which he had to bypass 2 boxes perched precariously midway as part of the barricade system that has reduced our home to all the appeal of a Safestore unit with multiple closed doors and everything piled high.)

Why anyone, least of all the joint owner of an inquisitive puppy with the determination of the petite lopper trying to open a bottle of pink stuff, not Calpol, without a corkscrew), would leave not one or even two but …..six toilet rolls at ground zero to be admonished to the finest shred count in as many seconds as it counts to put the kettle on is my deepest regret.. today…so far.

Disappointed that for the last couple of years, we’ve not had much with our flowers and plants in the garden. The local wildlife seemed to move in and obliterate anything that resembled new life. They even climbed raised beds and dined out on our herbs… squirrels and rabbits with a penchant for fine dining. Anyway, we’d hoped that the arrival of the Golden One would provide enough scent and presence around the place to deter the furry vegans. When I say we’d hoped, we almost thought it was a given that this year, we’d be hosts to all things bright and beautiful without all creatures great and small. Little did we know that our own great creature would be partial to a new shoot or even better a bulb or two… or more. Yep, he knows where to find them and is not fazed by how deep they are planted. I hadn’t actually ever properly thought through where retrievers get their name but I get it now. They believe , much like St Anthony, that they are the finder of lost things and quite obviously, see it as their job to retrieve them for you, even when you haven’t actually lost them, but planted them carefully and lovingly to grow and be nurtured and admired…

Relaxing on a cosy sofa in front of the fire seems like a distance memory… Our idea of an evening just chillin’ is not his idea of fun. Once The Petite Lopper and our ‘bride to be’ made their retreat last weekend and The Golden One was left with us two, neither of whom offered up our laps for floor snuggles on request, he made his displeasure clear. We were pulled at, chewed on, pounced upon and glared at as if we were the the ultimate disappointment in parents. Mr G gave in and gave the sought after attention and cuddle time, I admit I gave in and took to my bed knowing it would all begin again in just a few hours.

On an absolute high note, he’s sleeping through the night and the early start isn’t quite as daunting if you’ve managed a longer run of undisturbed time. I’m hoping we’re slowly working towards a cup of tea in bed while he goes through his morning ablutions, that’s The Golden One not Mr G.

Getting out of the house these days is a military operation that haven’t quite been polished as yet. The drawstrings on my parka are getting longer by the day as H uses them as tugs. I haven’t quite worked out what order to do things in to make life simpler.. shoes, coat then bag or shoes last? Carrying the coat seems today’s best option… Yesterday, got to shop without bag, came back home only to realise, purse was in pocket all along. And I have no idea how I ended up going out fully dressed in warm clothes and boots but no socks!!How come people talk about baby brain but no one mentions puppy brain?

Apparently, according to the troops, H was about 3 times the size last week as he had been at Christmas, wonder if that tells us what to expect come Easter. We made it back to our local last Friday. 3 separate people commented on the size of his paws and how big he’s going to be when fully grown. It’s amazing how having a new puppy sparks conversation with people you wouldn’t ordinarily be drawn towards. How would we ever have known that the grieving widow who’d been married for 59 years to her Thames Lighterman husband , the love of her life, who died in her arms just before Christmas and who had a celebration of his life in our favourite watering hole, had got together all those years ago because she took a fancy to his rear end….A really lovely lady who was obviously quite a gal in her day. Thanks H, a real pleasure to be introduced through you…

From one end of the day to another… and I have the very worst ear worm.. “Do your ears hang low, do they wobble to and fro? Can you tie them in a knot, can you tie them in a bow?…..In a South American drawl. I’m sure I once described this cuddly beast as adorable. I’m now almost certain it comes alive at night to frighten evil spirits away. Get well soon Curly Sue…

All systems go at the homestead tonight after a slow start. Pestle and mortar, (well , half a pestle after a strenuous pounding some weeks back), doing its thing and spice drawer getting seriously depleted. We are beyond excited at experimenting with our new cook book. When things smell that good, how bad could they ever taste? I do think though that with the amount of garlic we’re using , we’ve got no chance of evil spirits ( do your ears hang low…..), coming anywhere any of us for the next months at least.

Interesting watching our first boy scaling new heights today… must remember to move the stepladder out of hallway before they come round tomorrow otherwise I fear he’ll be swinging from the chandeliers! Or maybe the cloth cap and broomstick were a giveaway and he’s a mini Bert ( Chim chimeney, chim chimeney, chim chim chimney) in the making.

Mr G been online today ordering new accessories for the boy band. Was just about to call them the chaps band but that might make you think there’s a group affliction taking hold…. Anyway, he’s excited so hopefully after a practise session or two, they’ll be ready to unleash themselves on the rest of us to review. Good luck chaps, I mean boys.